Anonymous asked: Nigga Jesus, I have this cotton field and no one to work it. Can you come down and pick it for me?
No, but I can provide you with some bleach to drink.
Dear Black Jesus,
I know it’s inappropriate for me to ask this but you are the only one who could make it possible, but Lord please find it in your way for me to have a threesome with Roman Reigns and The Rock.
Real Nigga Jesus hears you my child
Quoth the Real Nigga Bible
And so Real nigga jesus said it to be so for his not as racist cracker friends who look only to help: For ye is not POC, ye is still privileged. Stand by real niggas without looking for a holy cookie for thouself. Praise be it to no one for not being a dick. You do not the work of Real nigga god but the work of not dickishness.”
So when really not shit people come and speak lies like “I came out: I’m an ally”, you will be shunned.
Let it be known, outing people is a sin.
“‘If you ever out someone without their permission, you will not only be denied entry into real nigga heaven, you will be shat on by the cracka devil for all eternity.’ Thus sayeth the Lord.” [ 13:4]
Anonymous asked: RNJ, is it appropriate for a white girl to twerk?
just-call-me-vendetta asked: Real Nigga Jesus, all the maintenance men in my apartment complex are crackers. Is it wrong that I feel a sense of power when they come in to fix something in my apartment?
Lawd no. Feel it and enjoy it.
merriestfetusinthegame asked: PRAISE YOUR NAME!!!! 106 and PArk is over, halluieh!!!! Can we have a pray for killing a big part of the horror that is BET? (BET of course is made by the hatin nigga losers that were casted out of real nigga heaven and disguises themselves as really real niggas)
Nigga Jesus, we praise your name, and thank you for ending the pain and horror that was 106 and Park
Because you know how tired our asses was getting of that minstrel fake nigga bullshit
Nigga Jesus, please take the next step
and abolish BET from the world.
peanutbutternjoly asked: RNJ, please bless me with the strength to not smack this basic white bitch who is telling me that I should love Sean Penn even though he's a wife beater. Please, please give me the strength to not smack her for saying that it's okay because he "did a lot for New Orleans and Haiti." And please give me the strength to tell her that his 'good deeds' reek of White Guilt.
Let us pray.
Real Nigga Jesus, who doth dwell in the eternal Ihop
please give our bretheren the strength to withstand this white bullshit.
And give them a whole shit load of bricks for when they can’t
because we all know these bitches deserve the almighty brick.
witchsistah asked: Will-I-Am is having one of his songs beamed from Mars? Why can't we just send his ass there and tell that nigga to yell real loud?
Word, son. Why he wastin’ all that money for? Nigga just take your ass to Mars, Real Nigga Jesus is tired of lookin’ at you.
witchsistah asked: Most Real, folks stay sayin' I'm you and I keep tellin' 'em I ain't, but they do not believe because I am blessed with the gift of mad shadebending and bein' blunt as fuck cuz muffukkas need to get told. Is there any way to ascend to the Real Nigga Godhead or can I at least be a prophet?
You may join the ranks of real Nigga prophets, my child. Welcome.
Be blessed, and spread the word of real Nigga Jesus